Skip to main content

The Confidence Faker's Favorite Move (And Why We All Fall for It)

✍️ By Subhasri Devaraj

Image Created by Author


You're at a networking event, minding your own business, when that person slides up to you. Within thirty seconds, they've mentioned their MBA, their connection to someone famous, and their recent promotion. You walk away feeling... smaller somehow. Like you just got steamrolled by someone's resume.

Here's what just happened: You met someone desperately trying to convince you (and themselves) that they matter.

The Name-Drop Addiction

I used to work with this guy, Kevin. Kevin couldn't order a sandwich without turning it into a humble-brag symphony. "I'll take the turkey club. You know, my buddy who runs that startup in Silicon Valley introduced me to this amazing turkey place..."

Kevin, we're at a gas station deli.

But here's the thing about Kevin and people like him - they're not trying to make you feel small. They're terrified you'll discover they're ordinary. So they armor themselves with other people's achievements, hoping some of that shine will rub off.

The Confidence Paradox

Real confidence is weird. It doesn't announce itself. It doesn't need backup dancers or a highlight reel. Confident people can sit in comfortable silence. They ask questions about you. They're curious instead of performing.

I learned this lesson the hard way at my college roommate's wedding. I was seated at a table with strangers and, feeling awkward, launched into my greatest hits: my internship, my professor who "basically discovered" something important, my plans that were definitely going to work out.

The woman next to me just smiled and nodded. Then she asked me about my favorite book. Not my thesis or my career goals. My favorite book.

Turns out she was a bestselling author. Didn't mention it once.

Why We Do This to Ourselves

The name-dropping, the credential-flashing, the constant self-promotion - it comes from a place of genuine fear. Fear that we're not enough. Fear that people will see through our carefully constructed image and find... what? A regular person who sometimes eats cereal for dinner and binges Netflix?

The irony is brutal. The harder we try to prove our worth, the more desperate we sound. It's like wearing a t-shirt that says "I'M CONFIDENT" - the message defeats itself.

The Test That Never Fails

Want to spot real confidence? Watch how someone handles being wrong. Do they double down and deflect? Or do they say "Oh, you're right" and move on?

Insecure people treat being wrong like a threat to their entire identity. Confident people treat it like Tuesday.

What Changed My Mind

I stopped trying to impress people the day I realized something obvious: the people worth knowing don't need to be impressed. They're looking for genuine connection, not a performance.

Now when I meet someone new, I try to remember what that author did for me. She made me feel interesting. She asked follow-up questions. She created space for me to be myself instead of competing for airtime.

The Plot Twist

Here's the thing that really gets me: when someone constantly name-drops and credential-flashes, my first thought isn't "wow, they're impressive." It's "wow, they must feel pretty insecure."

And then I feel kind of sad for them. Because underneath all that noise is probably someone pretty cool, if they'd just let you meet them.

So maybe next time you encounter a Kevin or feel yourself turning into one, remember this: your worth isn't determined by who you know or what you've achieved. It's not even determined by how confident you appear.

Sometimes the most confident thing you can do is just... be quiet and let someone else shine.

Trust me, people will notice. For all the right reasons.


📌 Disclaimer & Copyright Notice

Disclaimer:
This post is written from personal perspective and real-life experiences. No AI-generated text or auto-written tools were used in the original drafting of this content. Every word comes from an honest, human voice — just like a conversation with a friend.

Copyright Notice:
© 2025 The Heartlogue by Subhasri Devaraj. All rights reserved.
Unauthorized copying, reproduction, or distribution of this content is strictly prohibited. If you'd like to feature this piece, please link back to the original post and give proper credit.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Holmes Never Left

  ✍️  By Subhasri Devaraj She didn’t believe in coincidences, which is exactly why she went alone. The Sherlock Holmes Museum had always seemed kitschy in pictures—pipes, deerstalkers, wax figures frozen mid-puzzle. But as Anika stepped inside, everything felt... off-script. The air was colder than London’s July deserved. Her emerald chiffon saree rustled as if it too sensed something unspoken. Near the fireplace, a magnifying glass lay on a velvet cloth—no display tag, no protective case. Just waiting. She picked it up. The museum remained quiet, too quiet. As she looked through the lens, the world tilted. The modern clutter dissolved. Warm gaslight replaced LEDs. The parquet floor shimmered like it had just been polished. And the sound—horse hooves on cobblestone, a steam whistle slicing through fog. She blinked. Still in the museum. But now the fire was crackling. And then she saw it: carved faintly into the stone above the mantle—her name. Anika. It wasn't graffiti. It was...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Mirror We Don't Want to See

  ✍️  By Subhasri Devaraj Image Created by Author You know that moment when you catch yourself doing the exact thing you just rolled your eyes at someone else for doing? Yeah, that moment. The one that makes you want to crawl under a rock and pretend it never happened. I had mine at Starbucks last Tuesday. There I was, standing behind this woman who was taking FOREVER to order. She's asking about every single drink modification, questioning the barista about oat milk versus almond milk, wanting to know if the caramel drizzle is "too sweet." I'm checking my watch, tapping my foot, thinking "Lady, it's coffee, not rocket science." My turn comes up. And what do I do? "Hi, um... what's the difference between your cold brew and iced coffee? And is the vanilla syrup sugar-free? Oh, and do you have any pastries that aren't too dry?" The universe has a sick sense of humor. We're All Walking Contradictions Here's the thing nobody talks a...
Post a Comment
Read more

She Didn’t Sit There to Relax

    ✍️  By Subhasri Devaraj Image cretaed BY Subhasri Devaraj (Author) The swing groaned softly under her weight—not in welcome, but in quiet protest. Kavitha didn’t sit because she wanted rest. She sat because there was nowhere else to go. The sunlight creeping across the marble tiles didn’t comfort her; it just reminded her the day had started without asking permission. The brass lamp still flickered from the early puja, but it didn’t feel sacred this morning. Just routine. She held a glass of tea she didn’t want—too strong, too sweet, just like yesterday’s. Her saree clung to her in the humidity, stiff with starch and obligation. Outside, life roared—a pressure cooker whistle, motorbikes in the street, a baby crying in the neighbor’s flat. But inside, Kavitha felt like a ghost moving through a museum of her own choices. She caught sight of the brass statue on the shelf—Lakshmi, maybe Saraswati. She couldn’t remember. They all looked the same now. She took a sip of her ...
Post a Comment
Read more